Illness and Infertility

Some of you may know that we battled for 13 years to bring home our three living miracles, with infertility, multiple miscarriages and adoption losses along the way. Since I have lived with ME/CFS/XMRV my entire adult life, the issues of chronic illness and infertility were often intertwined with each issue complicating the other on multiple levels, physically, medically, emotionally, spiritually, and just about any other "ally" you can imagine.

Lisa Copen, my dear friend and founder of Rest Ministries, offers some beautiful thoughts on living with chronic illness and facing infertility:
How Do I Know if God Has Motherhood In My Future?

If you find yourself a journey through fertility challenges, you can find additional support on my Hannah's Hope blog and also at the new faith-based blogging community, Held!

Gift or Curse?

I found this video link to David Ring after reading (in)Courage today, where Allison Morrison shares about raising her long-awaited son Sam, who was born with Cerebral Palsy. She writes,

"I’m not gonna sugar coat it–we just could’ve done without CP in our lives. But God saw fit to give it to us anyway. So what do we do with it?

"Before last night we would’ve bumbled along doing the best we could praying for a miracle healing. But after hearing David speak it’s a whole new ballgame... [CP] is our opportunity to show others how God has been good to us. Did we ask for CP? No way. Did David? Nope, but as he said he wouldn’t trade his life for a minute... He is blessed and so are we–so is Sam.

"It is up to us to help Sam develop his full potential and then to get out of the way and let God work. We gave Sam to God when he was born and we have to accept how God intends for him to be.

"We must not waste this opportunity that we’ve been given. We have been entrusted with something sacred and we have to praise Him and trust His plans for us!"

Visit Alison at (in)Courage to read more.

As Joni Eareckson Tada says, “God aborts devilish schemes to serve His own ends. God permits what He hates to accomplish that which He loves. Heaven and hell can participate in the exact same event, but for different reasons.”

Thorn of Infertility

This praise/prayer request actually pertains to my first book. Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss has been nominated by RESOLVE, the oldest, and one of the largest, infertility support networks in the nation, as one of the top four "best" infertility books for 2010! I'm beyond thrilled by this nomination and am praying that if nothing else comes of it, at least many new readers will be exposed to the book and God will encourage some hurting hearts as a result. (But I can't say my feelings would be hurt if I won the "best" award either. ;) )

RESOLVE's selections are now open for public vote and I would so appreciate if if you would take a moment and visit www.resolve.org/vote to cast a vote for Hannah's Hope in the "best book" category. Thank you so very much!!! If you have a blog or a facebook/twitter type account and would be willing to pass this along to your friends as well, I would truly appreciate your assistance! Voting closes June 24.

Devotion from In Touch

A dear friend sent me a link to this devotion written for In Touch Ministries last month. It captures much of the heart of what I hope to accomplish with my Paul book:
Thorn in the Flesh: When God Doesn't Take Away the Pain by F. L. Stone
A couple of quotes that stood out to me:

The point was God’s answer to Paul’s plea for deliverance: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (v. 9). This mysterious proclamation of hope speaks of pain in the strange way that’s confounded humanity from the ancient times of Job to the present: the idea that not only can the most inexplicable pain have value, but that the very presence of God can actually come to inhabit suffering and make it into something altogether different.

And further down in the article...

[God's epic response] was speaking to those of us who have done everything we possibly can to deal with chronic depression and yet continue to have no mental energy for anything, no matter how well things are going. Or those of us trapped inside our bodies or minds by some disability that keeps us from interacting the way we want to with the rest of the world. Or even those of us who have tried again and again but can’t get pregnant or stay pregnant when that’s the one thing we’ve always wanted—or those of us who just desperately long for our family to stay intact but know it isn’t within our control.

Vote for me as a Health Hero?

I was blessed to be nominated as a Woman's Health Hero and I need your help! (Head's up to my friends who are sensitive to mentions of pregnancy, the sponsors of this award do promote pregnancy-related books on their website, so please be for-warned before following this link.) Out of all entries, just 20 names will be inducted into a Health Hall of Fame. Two Hall-of-Fame selections will receive special honors as either Staff Pick or Audience Choice award determined by the public (that's you!).



You will be allowed to vote on all entries between now and May 14 (extended one week from the prior May 7 deadline), 2010. The entry that receives the highest overall ranking will win the Audience Choice award. Last year's Audience Choice winner was my dear friend Lisa Copen from Rest Ministries. I would be delighted to add a similar honor to my "resume" as I continue working on writing my book on the life of Paul as encouragement for living with chronic pain/illness.

Will you please help me by heading to www.ourbodiesourblog.org/blog/2010/05/comforting-those-with-fertility-challenges-jenni-saake and selecting the "thumbs up" voting button at the bottom of my profile? Thank you so much! :)

Hope in the Shadows

Have you ever heard someone describe a time of trial as, “living under the shadow of [xyz]”? My shadows have included infertility, grief, depression, chronic illness and more. I'm sure you can plug in your own "xyz"s; maybe cancer, abuse, loneliness…

Job and the Psalmist talk of “the valley of the shadow of death.” Shadows impress a dark picture of gloom and heaviness in my mind.

Hope demands I give shadows another look... [To read the remainder of this article, please visit (In)Courage where you can also enter to win a copy of my book, Hannah's Hope.]


Keep scrolling here for a great list of verses that reflect God's sheltering shadows in my life.

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One way God seems to work in my life is through “theme word seasons,” specific life lessons He wants to drive home with me and situations that bring those themes to light over and over until I finally begin to grasp a small portion of what He longs to teach me. Wait resounded in our hearts through the loss of our business and the struggle for my husband to find a new career that truly fit, all in the midst of infertility's endless cycles of hoping and hurting, wanting and worrying, coping and crying.

Waiting has given way to new horizons, a series of theme seasons too numerous to list here, but with one of the most recent being Hope. And then to Hope, God’s spent this year adding the active pursuit of Joy to my life as well. Here are some of my favorite resources from these three themes:

Wait:
- Hannah’s Prayer Ministries offers support through fertility challenges, including infertility or the death of a baby at any time from conception through early infancy.
- A Graceful Waiting by Jan Frank
- The Wait Poem by Russell Kelfer (Truly beautiful book, with a written message even more powerful than the photos! This poem was life-changing for me and has been impactful in many lives.)

Hope:
- Out of the Valley Ministries, Inc. Postpartum Depression Support
- Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
- Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by me, Jennifer Saake :)

Joy:
- Rest Ministries provides support in the face of chronic pain and illness, including National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week each Sept.
- Rain on Me: Devotions of Hope and Encouragement for Difficult Times by Holley Gerth
- The book of Philippians, written by the apostle Paul.

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies” Philippians 4:8-9. (MSG)

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Verses that reflect God's sheltering shadows in my life:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17. (NIV)

“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3. (NIV)

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned” Isaiah 9:2. (NIV)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31. (NIV)

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me" Micah 7:7. (NIV)

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield" Psalm 33:20. (NIV)

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God..." Psalm 40:1-2, (NIV)

“I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light…

“He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship.
He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead…

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness…

“For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love…

“You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’
O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life…”
- from Lamentations 3 (NIV)

BlogTalk Radio link - Medications, Illness, Fertility, Desire for Motherhood

I've been talking about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week since my very first post here. Well, NICIAW is finally upon us and I had the joy of talking about Medication, Illness, Fertility and the Desire for Motherhood with Rest Ministries founder, Lisa Copen this afternoon. If you missed the live broadcase, please turn in to the archived program at www.blogtalkradio.com/invisibleillnessconf/2008/09/09/Medications-Illness-Fertility-and-the-Desire-for-Motherhood.

My "Other" Illness

I am a mid-30s, homeschooling mom of three energetic children. To look at me you would never guess that I’ve lived with invisible chronic illness since my teen years. I “look” perfectly normal. Chronic low-grade fevers give my cheeks a rosy glow. I usually take great care in the way I dress and apply makeup because feeling bad is hard enough, I really don’t want to “look the part” too. And no, you’ve probably never seen me on a really bad day because if I can’t get out of the house, or even out of bed, well you don’t see me out and about on those days!

There are occasions when my illness refuses to remain invisible, like when I gratefully pull into a handicap parking spot, relieved for every single step I can cut from my errands as I stagger under debilitating exhaustion or when each step sends searing pain through my body. Or maybe it is still invisible even then, because I sure get some strange looks as I climb out of the van and unload my three, none of us in obvious need of that blue license plate! I can understand the confusion on their faces, for even my closest friends don’t realize what I’m facing until I share with them my daily reality. Still my heart stings to think those parking lot strangers might believe I’m abusing a privilege that I anything but take for granted!

I could claim many labels including Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS), Myalgic Encephalomelitis (ME), fibromyalgia (FM), human herpesvirus six (HHV-6), multiple chemical sensitivities (MCS), Temporomandibular Joint (TMJ) and several others. But today it isn’t my severe and persistent fatigue, tender/swollen lymph glands, impaired memory and concentration, headaches, sleep disturbances, sore throat, joint or muscle pain that I’m here to talk about. Today I want to share about the heartache of my “other” invisible illness…

Infertility. Yes, I know I introduced myself as a mom of three. And yes, they are all our biological offspring. I’m still in awe to have three precious miracles, spaced almost exactly three years apart each time. No one would guess that it took us seven years, one confirmed (and several suspected) miscarriage(s) and much medical aid to have our first; another two years, two miscarriages, extensive surgery and medication to conceive the second; or that between the three pregnancies I spent 26 weeks on bedrest fighting to carry them each close enough to term to give them a chance at healthy, live birth.

You would never know, looking at these three, that not only do they have multiple siblings awaiting them in Heaven due to my miscarriages, but that we also tried to build our family through adoption seven different times. Each time we were left with empty arms and broken hearts. Adoption is a wonderful experience that I still hope God may someday have in store for our family, but for many reasons it is certainly not an “easy answer” to infertility!

While many people think of infertility as simply the inability to have children, this invisible chronic health concern often impacts much more than just reproductive organs. For women, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), and multiple other causes of infertility can lead to debilitating pain, extreme cycle irregularity with hormonal imbalances that can significantly impact insulin levels, weight, emotional stability, and greatly increase cancer risks. Deep cystic acne, excessive hair growth (in all the wrong places), and increased chance of miscarriage should conception ever occur, are also all concerns linked to certain causes of infertility. While I am a mom of three living miracles now, many of the medical issues surrounding our years of barrenness remain daily concerns for my current and long-term health picture. A couple’s infertility is just as often due to male-factor causes as female ones, and men also face unique health issues as a result of reproductive challenges.

Infertility isn’t just “not being able to get pregnant.” It is a medical condition that is almost always invisible, and as you might imagine, can become extremely complicated to manage for those of us who also face other chronic health conditions, as one set of medications and side-effects interacts with another! Just as any other chronic health challenge cannot be wished away, infertility is not simply solved by “relaxing” or going on vacation or having my husband wear boxer shorts. Studies have shown that the stress and depth of grief experienced by many infertile couples is parallel to that of cancer patients. So next time you are in a social setting and trying to get to know a new friend, why not open with, “Tell me about yourself,” rather than asking the question dreaded by every infertile woman, “Do you have any kids?”

I’m so thankful to be involved in National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week because I can’t always tell someone’s story just by looking at what seems to be the obvious! As we all become more aware of one another’s struggles, hopefully we can become a more caring and compassionate people.


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Jennifer Saake has lived with endometriosis since puberty and fibromyalgia since high school. She experienced the dramatic onset of CFIDS/ME her freshman year in college, 18 years ago this September. [Updated to add: Jenni finally discovered the root cause of her illness in October, 2009 with the diagnosis of the retrovirus XMRV.] After dropping out of school and spending most of the next two years in bed, she married her sweetheart, Rick, who saw her as more than just an illness. Together they struggled to grow their family through a decade of infertility and multiple losses, including the diagnosis of both Endometriosis and PCOS with insulin resistance.
Jenni is the co-founder and Director Emertis of Hannah's Prayer Ministires, an international support ministry for families facing fertility challenges, and is the author of Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss (NavPress, 2005).

http://www.HarvestingHope.blogspot.com
http://www.HannahsHopeBook.com and accompanying blog at http://www.HannahsHopeBook.blogspot.com
Hannah's Prayer Ministires at http://www.Hannah.org

I'll be on blog radio next week!

Press Release:

Christian Organization Unites the Millions Who Live with Invisible Illness

Contact: Lisa Copen, Rest Ministries, 858-486-4685, rest@restministries.org

MEDIA ADVISORY, Sept. 3 /Christian Newswire/ -- Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA live with a chronic illness and about 96% of the illnesses are invisible.* Rest Ministries, Inc., the largest Christian organization that serves the chronically ill, an affiliate of Joni Eareckson Tada's International Disability Ministry, is encouraging those with illness, as well and family, caregivers, and churches through their annual outreach event, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, September 8-14, 2008.

This year the week features 20 workshops with well-known guest speakers who will be presenting and answering questions via Blog Talk Radio, September 8-12.

Speakers include:
• Leslie Vernick, author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship (Harvest House, 2007)
• Julie-Allyson Ieron, author of The Overwhelmed Woman's Guide to Caring for Aging Parents (Moody, 2008)
• Lisa Copen, author of Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend (Rest Publishers, 2008)
• Jennifer Saake, author of Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage and Adoption Loss (NavPress, 2005) [Details on how to listen/join in this program are posted at Invisible Illness Week Conference Info. Jenni's session on "Medications, Illness, Fertility and the Desire for Motherhood" will air Tuesday, Sept 9, 12 p.m. Pacific.]


Lisa Copen, 39, founder of Rest Ministries says, "Since we began in 1997 we've found that despite the strong foundation Christians may have, illness can rock it. Feeling like no one understands how much your life has changed since a diagnosis can be more spiritually detrimental than the illness itself. It can make one feel isolated, misunderstood and even bitter."

Copen, who has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia since the age of twenty-four explains why Invisible Illness week matters. "Those with illness do have to accept that other people aren't going to 'get it.' Only God understands. But it's nice to encourage peers and find strength in validating the mixed emotions. You don't have to explain why walking twenty feet may be impossible some days."

Rest Ministries extends their outreach about illness awareness to churches, providing materials to start up HopeKeepers groups, books, cards, tracts, etc. About 96% of those with illness may appear perfectly healthy on Sunday mornings, but may struggle to get out of bed the remainder of the week.

Ken Chambers, Director of Church Relations at Joni and Friends International Disability Center, says, "It is vital that Christians understand the emotional and spiritual trials of those with invisible disabilities, as well as those with visible disabilities. Rest Ministries is dedicated to educating churches to not only serve the chronically ill, but to involve them in the church body. I encourage church leaders to take advantage of the wealth of resources at Rest Ministries and to participate in the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week."

Get involved by joining the hundreds of people who will blog about invisible illness on September 8th, attend a seminar, or tell someone who has an illness about the event. Typically, people with illness are unable to attend a traditional conference, so a "virtual conference" is widely anticipated. All seminars will also be recorded and archived.

See www.invisibleillness.com. Rest Ministries is at www.restministries.org.

*Source: Chronic Care in America, U.S. Census Bureau


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Press Release written by:
Lisa Copen
Rest Ministries, Director
HopeKeepers Magazine, Editor

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week
Founder & Coordinator



“HOPE CAN GROW FROM THE SOIL OF ILLNESS!”
This is the theme of 2008’s National Invisible
Chronic Illness Awareness Week in September.
Drop by and find out ways to encourage a
friend, be encouraged yourself, and spread the word.
http://www.InvisibleIllness.com and our blog
http://www.InvisibleIllness.Wordpress.com